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Posts Tagged ‘morethen140characters’

It’s A Small World After All

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Years ago this piece of set decoration was made for a (now cancelled) television show labeling me as the returning chess champion*.  Recently it showed up at The Office.  We’re not on the same stage, not even on the same lot.  Hollywood is a small world.

Weird.

*I am awful at chess, if I am the returning champion Sarasota has larger issues then previously thought.

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Mother’s Payback

Monday, August 30th, 2010

I cannot say for certain, but I think this whole “late call” to start work that is actually still a 7am call is payback for the years my mother fought to get me out of bed by the same time.  If it isn’t orchestrated as revenge, she is at least getting a lot of enjoyment out of it.

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The New Meets The Old

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

Sunday brunch was interrupted when two antique phones were brought out, needing to be documented by a shiny new phone.

*Poor image quality due to photo being taken by a secret third phone

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News From the Week

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

A woman in England, who lost her arm in a car crash, was appalled to discover that her wedding ring was stolen off her severed limb after being brought to the hospital.  So all you lucky ladies out there, you could soon be showing off a ring to every single person you have ever meet that was stolen off of a severed arm.

According to a new poll, 78% of Americans do not trust the government.  But only 3% of those reading trust poll data having assumed that 87% of all poll numbers reported have been fabricated by the government.

An artist in Manhattan has spent the past two years trying to sketch all 8.3 million people in New York City and has about 10,000 drawings so far.  They’re all pretty abstract, but little Johnny’s parents couldn’t be more proud.

An artist in Manhattan has spent the past two years trying to sketch all 8.3 million people in New York City and has about 10,000 drawings so far.  You can get to 8,299,999 but good luck trying to draw me!

This Monday marks the fifth anniversary of Pope Benedict becoming the pontiff.  The Church threw a party with other five-year celebrations.  Like birthdays.

A woman in England who suffered a severe migraine headache suddenly found herself speaking with a Chinese accent despite never having been to China nor studying the language.  When questioned by reporters her shocked friends and colleges kept saying, “Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

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Additional Thoughts

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

A man in Michigan ate a burrito along with other snacks at a gas station food store having no money to pay.  He then called the police and had himself arrested hearing they provided a free bed and a new set of clothes.

Scientists reported last week that the remains of a 1.9 million tear-old human ancestor are so well preserved that they may contain a remnant of the male individual’s brain.    Further inspection showed that miraculously no brain decay had actually occurred.

A man in Tennessee was arrested for riding his hose while drunk into a crown of people at the Mule Day festivities.  If he’d been riding a mule like he was supposed to be, the festivities would have continued on unscathed.

Researchers said Wednesday that tests on monkey meat smuggled to New York from West Africa found that it was tainted with a virus similar to HIV.  So stop eating monkey meat!

The Library of Congress last Wednesday said it would archive every public tweet posted since Twitter started four years ago.  LOL!  OMG!  I’m typing on a keyboard right now!

Children who take breaks from class work to be physically active during the school day may do better on tests, according to a new study conducted by No My Kid is Not a Failure Who Cuts Class Moms United.  Or N.M.K.N.F.W.C.C.M.U

According to a new book called “Rough Justice: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer,” the former New York governor once went on a hooker binge, ordering three prostitutes for separate interludes on a single day.  If only he could have organized the state that diligently.

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Start of a New Era (or of a new blog post)

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

Since I don’t do standup and I don’t write for anyone, the little one line quips that get stuck bouncing around my head will be landing here for now:

A cat in Montana has been awarded the Purple Paw by the Great Falls Animal Foundation for saving lives by tapping its owner’s nose to alert her of a gas leak.  When the owners fled the house for safety the cat sat patiently and waited by its food bowl.

Lisa Murphy launched a pornographic magazine for the blind complete with explicit text and raised pictures of naked men and women legitimizing her work after finally finding a target market after failed launches of scratch and sniff pornographic magazines and flavored pornographic magazines.

In a sign that the economy is improving, it was reported this week that several Wall Street firms have started hiring again and are searching for “top talent” inspiring ABC’s new Who Wants to be A Wall Street Executive reality show where the losers walk away with millions of American tax dollars.

A company in Australia has started selling “fitwear;” high-tech underwear for men designed to trim their torso and offers improved blood flow.  The interest sparked tightie-whities to re-brand themselves as convenient birth control for men.

World Wresting Entertainment said Tuesday that starting this fall “Friday Night Smackdown” will be moved to the SyFy cable channel.  But it’s real.  The wrestling is all still 100% real.

TGIFriday’s is offering a Jack Daniel’s brand appetizer and two Jack Daniel’s brand meals for $20 and thinks it’s a great idea.  I’m thinking that spending $20 on a bottle of Jack that will last me at least a dinner, breakfast, lunch, and ANOTHER dinner and saving myself from having to sit in a TGIFriday’s sounds like a much better idea.

EZ-Up is a misleading name for these pop-up tents.

The premise of the movie Salt is not at all believable.  Angelina Jolie is way too recognizable to ever blend in as an undercover spy for any country.

If I were a Texas Rangers fan, I’d go to every game sporting a Chuck Norris t-shirt.

I was pretty much raised to be to be an Atheist; so I grew up being taken to Catholic church.

Movie theatre popcorn is like a fine wine; aging to perfection with time.  I don’t even look forward to going to the movies until two days afterwards.

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Playboy Moves Toward Equality

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Between 1970 and 1985 Playboy printed copies of its famous publication in Braille but without any enhancement for the images in the magazine.  Meaning that for 15 years, and 15 years only, there were men actually buying playboy for the articles.

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